Never blinks.
Never takes a cruise.
24/7 supervision of the pizza. No lunch breaks. No shore excursions. No “I’ll be right back.”
CONTINUOUS CRUST OBSERVABILITY ↗ INTRODUCING MASHGIACH-GPT v7.0
Your pizza has
a new supervisor.
You asked who’s watching the pizza at Sorrento’s.
We built an AI that never looks away.
Mashgiach-GPT is a state-of-the-art vision model that classifies 7,000 pizzas an hour, around the clock. No breaks. No shore excursions. No ability to leave the room.
*Benchmarks self-reported. Peer review currently typing…
COMPUTER VISION.
ACTUAL VISION.ALWAYS ONLINE.
NEVER AT THE BUFFET.
ACTUAL VISION.ALWAYS ONLINE.
NEVER AT THE BUFFET.
PIZZA VISION / FEED 01CAM_001 ↗
OBJECT DETECTED: PIZZA
EXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS: SEVERAL
30 FPS · 0 BLINKSEXISTENTIAL QUESTIONS: SEVERAL
MODEL: MASHGIACH-GPT v7.0● SHOMER MODE: ON
↗
24/7 eyes on the pie.Even when the group is muted.
7,000/hr
PIZZAS CLASSIFIED
24/7
EYES ON THE PIE
0
“JUST STEPPED OUT” MOMENTS
✳
*Internal benchmark.
Evaluated by the model.
01 / THE PROBLEM STATEMENT
A SLICE OF CONTEXTSeparate oven.
Shared anxiety.
Is a separate oven enough? Does someone need to be watching? Who checks the ingredients, and what happens when nobody’s at the counter?
The group chat produced several hundred messages. We produced a pitch deck.
Never blinks.
A separate oven?
We watch both.
Multi-oven awareness tracks the oven, the peel, the cutter, and every pizza the cutter has ever met.
MULTI-OVEN AWARENESS ↗7,000 pizzas.
One very long hour.
Crust, char, cheese pull and topping density, 7,000 times an hour. Benchmarked against the group chat, which is still on pizza #1.
STATE-OF-THE-ART CHUTZPAH ↗
THE INSPIRATION / SORRENTO’SA STATEMENT REGARDING THE PIZZA
Big ship.
Bigger pizza debate.
We’re aware of a discussion about the pizza. We want to reassure every guest: from tonight, a model is watching it around the clock. It never blinks. It never leaves. It never takes a side. It has also read the group chat, and is requesting shore leave.
› ingesting pizza discourse…› messages_read: all of them› separate_oven: detected› continuous_supervision: also detected› scope_creep: approved› solution: wildly overengineer it_
02 / HANDS-ON, HANDS OFF THE PIZZA
MODEL PLAYGROUNDMeet your new
digital mashgiach.
Describe the situation. Mashgiach-GPT will apply 11,000 GPU-hours of training and return a verdict with total confidence.
No camera required. The model has seen enough.
MASHGIACH-GPT
7,000 pizzas / hour
7,000 pizzas / hour
INFERENCE CONSOLESTANDBY
VERDICTPizza detected.
Pizza detected.
Context required.
Model loaded. Cheese pull calibrated. Select a situation to receive an unnecessarily detailed report.
03 / INVESTOR MATERIALS
APPROVED FOR DISTRIBUTIONSlides from
the deck.
Cleared for distribution to groups of up to 1,024.
Tap a slide to send it.
01 / OFFICIAL FINDINGS
02 / THE NIGHT SHIFT
03 / THE BENCHMARK
04 / WHY NOT BOTH
LEGACY SYSTEM. STILL UNDEFEATED.
Less pizza discourse.
More ocean views.
Fresh Kosher Cruises offers fresh kosher dining under rabbinical supervision on select sailings: the original technology Mashgiach-GPT is still trying to beat. It blinks. It takes breaks. It also answers questions. See which ships, which dates, and who’s supervising.
See supervised sailings ↗REAL PEOPLE. REAL SUPERVISION. REALLY GOOD VIEWS.04 / QUESTIONS FROM THE GROUP
A few follow-up
messages.
Can I buy Mashgiach-GPT?
Current deployment: one website. Enterprise pricing on request. Please don’t request it.
Does it work when the group is muted?
That’s when it does its best work. No notifications. No voice notes. Just sustained eye contact with the crust.
Can an AI replace a mashgiach?
Ours can’t even replace this FAQ. The human wins on every metric except blinking.
Who’s watching Mashgiach-GPT?
Mashgiach-GPT 2. Who’s watching that one? That’s the Series B.
Which sailings is it on?
Just this website. It doesn’t do water. For sailings with fresh kosher food and actual humans supervising it, see Fresh Kosher Cruises ↗